I used to play Baby, I’m an Anarchist all the time when I was in the mental hospital. To the point that later, everyone in my treatment center knew all the words to the song even through they had never heard an Against Me! record. But I guess that’s just how it goes.
I sobbed through probably half the concert last night. When Laura was playing Tru Trans Soul Rebel and there was the line “Does God bless your transsexual heart?” And I just broke down. I just fucking lost it and started sobbing and then eventually it turned into some kind of half laugh half crying and I had the biggest fucking smile on my face.
Cuz like, can you fucking believe that? Holy fucking hell. Two years ago I was dreaming up ways to end my life and yesterday I was standing in a room full of people who were all singing along to song about being trans*. Can you fucking believe that?
I am alive and can’t fucking believe that I AM ALIVE. AND I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT I AM ALIVE. So I couldn’t stop crying. Because thank gods. Thank Laura Jane Grace. I am alive and I am happy and I am out. I am out of this fucking hell hole that someone had the nerve to call a closet.
I waited around for probably over an hour to talk to her after the show. Because why not? and I’m an emotional piece of shit and I needed to get my feelings out. So it was 1 in the morning and I was right in front of her and I just started crying all over again because I needed a way to say “I love your fucking music so fucking much and I never thought I would be alive right now and can you believe that? And I can’t believe you just sang to a room full of people about being trans because, well just because. And I am just so fucking happy to be alive right now.”
And then she gave me the biggest fucking hug and looked at me and just said “I’m really happy you’re alive too.”